Dances in the Dark
by Ms Sticha
Summary: Nightmare-induced insomnia leads Shepard to discover things she didn't know about a close member of her crew. One-shot set in ME3.
Stars glittered overhead through the mass effect shield's faint blue ripples but their slow, patient pulsing couldn't calm her this time. The nightmare was too vivid, too horrible. She had to get up and find some distraction, fast. Every time her mind wasn't completely focused it automatically drifted back to the scene that woke her, and every time the pain was just as real.

Shepard's hands shook as she pulled on her sweats and stumbled for the door. There was only one person who could calm her down now. Well, that wasn't entirely true; there was a second, but things were… complicated. In fact, they'd barely spoken since he joined the ship a few days earlier. This was no time to try to sort that out, especially since he was probably sleeping. That's what normal people did at this time of night. Fortunately, Joker wasn't normal either. Hell, he was probably expecting her; she'd been making the same trip almost nightly, after all. In fact, she picked up a little gift of thanks on the last mission and this was the perfect time to give him. Unfortunately, it was still in her locker in the shuttle bay. She sighed and took a quick peek at the time. At least nobody would be down there this late. She could run down and get the gift without freaking out anyone with her splotchy, swollen features.

A full-blown panic attack in the elevator wasn't going to help the situation at all, so Shepard concentrated on calming her nerves and slowing her breathing. She was so focused on her task she didn't realize the door opened until she heard a soft, rhythmic beat. The ship never made that sound before. Shepard stepped onto the deck to investigate and immediately found the source. A lone figure holding a large wooden pole walked through the shuttle bay, every other step punctuated by a solid thump of wood on metal. It was impossible to tell who the fellow insomniac was. They were dressed in loose black clothes from head to foot. Shepard kept a watchful eye, curious to see what this mystery person was up to.

The figure stopped in the middle of the bay with their back to the elevator and proceeded to remove their shirt. The first glimpse of bare skin was all it took for Shepard's breath to catch in her throat. The man (and it was definitely a man) yanked the garment over his head and tossed it aside where it landed on a crate, forgotten. Shepard bit back a gasp when she noticed the familiar salt-and-pepper hair but didn't bother to hide her smile. That man was even more beautiful than she remembered.

Sculpted back and shoulder muscles rippled in the low light as Kaidan lifted the staff and got into a fighting stance. The movements started slow – little more than a simple figure-eight pattern in front of his chest that made his back and shoulders bunch seductively. Suddenly he flipped the pole under one shoulder and maneuvered it around his body using only the movement of his impressively toned muscles. Oh the things that did to her body… she slid down the wall, powerless against the natural reaction. He was killing her and didn't even know it.

One deft hand caught the pole as it rolled from his shoulder and began twisting it in a complicated pattern. She couldn't see his hands, but his muscles bunched in new and interesting ways as the staff picked up speed until it was little more than a blur. That's when Shepard realized just how trained he really was.

His body danced to the music of air whistling around the staff as it twirled and spun around him. Every step was precise, every move controlled. Each jab was punctuated by a sharp hiss and a short pause before he stepped back and resumed the dance. There was no waiver, no misstep – the man was perfection personified. It wasn't long until beads of perspiration dotted his tan skin and caught the soft blue glow that flickered along his exposed torso and arms. The combined effect was hypnotizing and beautiful and Shepard watched, mesmerized.

Kaidan stilled the twirls with an expert flick of his hand and then changed his grip mid-air. Holding one end he sliced through the air in wide, sharp swings. His bare feet silently glided across the floor as he spun around to put his body weight behind each attack. Then the staff was airborne once more, flipping end over end as he slowly spun in a circle.

"Shepard," Kaidan gasped. The wood clattered to the floor, forgotten.

Heat climbed her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" Shepard began stumbling over apologies as she leapt to her feet and dashed for the elevator, but she never made it.

Kaidan grabbed her hand and spun her to face him. "No, don't apologize. You just surprised me; that's all."

One glance at his warm eyes brought the horrors of her nightmare screaming back to life. The haunting image of the blossoming darkness that spread with each weakening beat of his heart; the way it enveloped his body as his eyes dimmed; the way the council surround their would-be savior, shocked a fellow-Spectre pulled the trigger; the way guilt made her gun heavy in her hand… Shepard looked down before her emotions got the better of her.

"What's wrong?"

"Couldn't sleep," Shepard mumbled to the floor.

Kaidan's warm, calloused hand cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet his gaze. He pressed his lips together and nodded in sympathy. There was no judgment, no embarrassment, only understanding.

That was more than she could take. Her chin quivered as she fought to keep her emotions in check – a fact not lost on him.

"You're shaking," he whispered, concerned. He took a tentative step closer, watching her reaction as he closed the distance between them until he was so close she could feel the heat radiating off his exposed skin. "I missed you."

Shepard fell into his arms and held on for dear life. "I missed you too," she whispered into the crook of his neck. "Every single day."

They clung to one another in the darkness, two bodies pressed together as one, until the shaking finally subsided. Only then did Kaidan pull back and give her that familiar warm smile. "Let me make you a snack," he suggested as he wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You know, since we're both still up anyway and _someone_ needs to make sure you're eating."

Shepard laughed at his self-satisfied grin. He thought he was so darn funny… "Fine. We can talk about your little performance while we're at it. But you should probably put a shirt on first."

"You have a deal," Kaidan chuckled as he grabbed her hand and led her away.


End file.
